“When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours,
we join up with them & fall in mutual weirdness.
And call it Love.”
– Dr Seuss
It’s crazy to think that you spend two years preparing for one single day, that flies by in an instant but creates a memory that lasts an eternal lifetime. Little did I know I’d experience two of them, in the the space of two years all because my sisters fell in love. As three sisters we had a regular habit of spending hours in-front of the TV watching Disney movies and dreaming of that one day we’ll find our Prince Charming, just like every other girl because that’s what Disney, and every other romantic movie, taught us.
When you’re little girl you are taught the word ‘love’ from an early age whether it’s overhearing an adult say that they love a certain type of food, or hearing someone in a film say it to their other half, or whether it’s because you heard it every night when your parent kissed you goodnight, but you’re never really taught the true meaning of it. Everybody tells you that as you’re growing up you learn a wider variety things from who your true friends are, to what clothes suit you and even simply what foods you tend to prefer, but nobody tells you that one of the hardest, yet most memorable, thing you’ll ever learn is how to love.
I bet if you total up the amount of hours spent listening to romantic music or watching cheesy romantic films, they’d probably add up to the age of a small child, but they all have their lessons waiting to be learnt. However nothing teaches you more than heartbreak. It’s awful and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but I have a strong belief that everyone should go through some sort of mild heartbreak in their life in order to learn the true value of love. I’m not even talking about a romantic relationship, what comes to mind when I first hear the word Love, is my family. A few years back I had a bit of a change in personality, forgot who I really was and forgot all about what I valued most, which resulted in me hurting (not physically, don’t worry!) one of my sisters so much that we ended up not speaking for a day. It felt like the longest day of my life, but it was the exact “kick up the bum” I needed. As little a situation as it sounds, I’d still consider that a heartbreak moment.
Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying “you must feel pain from someone in order to realize you love them”, what I’m trying to say is not to be afraid of letting yourself get hurt. We live in a generation where “love” is just a word, where ‘friends with benefits’ and ‘hook-ups’ are more popular than ‘boyfriend/girlfriend relationships’ and where people are more cynical than they’ve ever been before, but I always wonder why? I went through a stage once where I was actually terrified of falling for someone, I’m quite a romantic person and one hell of a sucker for Nicholas Sparks, but I refused to let someone in and say those three magic words, mainly because I never believed them.
I’ve been in love twice before, one was solely “pizza love” while the other was more of an awe-consuming love. Looking back on them, yes they did hurt me when they ended, one a whole lot more than the other, but I don’t regret those relationships because they taught me more than I ever thought I’d know before the age of 21. They taught me that you must fall a few times before you learn to properly walk, that I should never let anyone tell me how I should dress or how I should wear my hair because if I’m not happy, I’m not being 100% me, and that no matter what happens, my Family of five (well now seven) are the most important people in my life and that their opinion on someone, is pretty important to me.
I’m sorry that this post is a little rambly, but it’s something that has been on my mind for a while now and I felt that it was time to say it. Today two weeks ago one of my best friends got married, and in April it’ll be two years since my other best friend got married, both weddings I was grateful to be right alongside them through the whole thing and seeing how happy they both were on the day, it showed me that Love truly is a beautiful thing and should never be something to be scared of. If I still was truly terrified of it, I wouldn’t be where I am today and I wouldn’t have someone alongside me that makes me prouder everyday or smile larger than I’ve ever smiled before. Nobody knows what the future will hold but just make sure that you don’t close yourself off compleltly, some losses are more of a win than you may think. And even though you may feel like you lost everything, there is always something ten times better around the corner.
Ever so-Stylishly Yours,