“In the end we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”
– Lewis Carroll
Nobody said life was going to be easy, and I don’t think anyone is ever going to say it because everyone has something that holds them back whether they like it to admit it or not. For some it’s a physical quality, while for others it’s a confidence issue but whatever it is it, there is a way that it can be erased for good. On numerous occasions I’ve said, and I’m not afraid to say it again, that people need to stop being so afraid of change. I can’t deny that changing friends, changing lifestyles and even changing hairstyles can scare me at times but I’m far from afraid of it because if I was, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today.
You may be wondering how exactly can you erase your fears and become fearless, or at least exude fearlessness as it can sound like an impossible action. However it’s far from that. As you all know very well that I’ve had a few big changes in the past few months so I decided to sit down and put pen to paper about what actual changes I made that resulted in me becoming the incredibly happy-go-lucky person I am today, and one that I was far from this time last year. I promise you that if you brave one (or many) of the points below, you’ll be on the start of one hell of a fun-filled road trip.
Eradicate Your Fears
Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
“What in the name of God is this?” is probably the question that you’ve got on the tip of your tongue right now, but fear not I’ll tell you just that. EQ is the ability to understand your emotions, know how to control them and know the effect they have in your personal relationships. I always heard Gary Vaynerchuk ramble on about the importance of your EQ but I never paid any attention to the topic until I was informed of how low my own EI was. I have a tendency to be a bit competitive so when I was told that I lacked something I could change I had no choice other than to take an EQ test, invest research into the topic and work on getting it to an above-average level. It wasn’t easy because I had to start focusing on myself more, try understand why I reacted the way I did in certain situations and start admitting my strengths rather than being scared incase I’d come across “cocky”. I’m still working on trying to build stronger understanding of my relationships by making sure I listen more, acknowledge their loves even if I hate them and only spending time on relationships that make me smile, because there’s nothing more time wasting than investing in relationships with people who don’t give a sh*# about you or your life.
Get Fabulously Fit
I can already hear the eruption of giggles from my friends and I haven’t even published the post yet, as fitness has never ever been my strong point. Yes I did Rowing for almost three years before my Leaving Cert exams, but other than that I’ve only ever done a few pilates or circuit classes here and there. However I promised myself that I’d force myself to invest more time into getting fitter when I started my work placement, and luckily enough I’ve been able to keep my promise. I started attending TRX classes with work early June and I’ve become addicted. It’s not that I’m addicted to the class or that I’ve suddenly become an avid “gym buddy”, it’s more that I’m addicted to the result. I’ve gotten toned in areas I didn’t even know I could tone, I can power walk for much longer than I could before and I simply just love the energy boost it gives me. Now I haven’t changed my diet or anything like that as I still absolutely adore all my chocolate and cheese, but speaking from someone who hated running across the road to avoid a car, is now loving shopping for her new gym gear (Fabletics or Rita Ora X Addias knock offs anyone?!) that’ll be actually put to good use. Getting fit is the way to go if you want to get a strong, positive mindset and something that’ll make you want to push past your fears because throwing yourself in the deep end may result in pain, but with fitness; pain is genuinely pleasure. Even if it’s simply walking to work in the morning rather than driving, it’s still a way to give yourself more energy and drive than you were before.
Worth Waking up For
It amazes me how many people spend their daily life doing something they hate, even though nobody forced them to do it. Obviously everyone has mornings where they wish they didn’t have to come out from under the covers, however this shouldn’t the case every single morning or even week because you should be spending your days doing something you love. I know money can be an issue, but everyone has the right to choose their own path. If you’re studying something you cannot stand, try change your course. If you’re in a job you hate, start looking and applying elsewhere. If you’re in a group where you feel everyone is knocking you down, get yourself out of it. Just don’t waste your life doing something you hate because you feel you have to or that you don’t have a choice because you’re wrong and life is much too short for just putting up with it. Yet again I know it can be a big terrifying change but if you spend your daily life doing something you love and surrounding yourself with people that you adore, you’ll feel practically invincible and everyone deserves to feel that way on a daily basis.
Let Creativity Consume You
I was always considered quite a creative kid but I also believed that everyone around me was just as creative in their own way. Whether it’s doodling masterpieces in the corners of their copybooks, humming the lyrics of their favourite song flawlessly or filling their diary with pages upon pages of dreams, everyone has got a creative streak running through them, however not enough of you put regular work into it. Beethoven wasn’t born an incredible pianist, Claude Monet wasn’t born a flawless artist, John Galliano wasn’t born a fashion genius, every single icon had to work their bum off to get their status so why aren’t you? I don’t want to become the next Christopher Bailey (as much as I wish I could) but that doesn’t stop me from doodling quirky dresses in my notebook, and to be honest I see it as a form of release and it’s perfect for people like me with busy minds. This may sound silly but a perfect example of this is how I always had a weird fear of falling in love up until recently I decided to write out every thing I feared about it and came to the conclusion that it’s a silly thing to be scared of and something that I had to just talk out with someone. Obviously I’m still not the most open armed person when it comes to love, but being honest with myself has allowed me to open up much more about the topic and not be so terrified of letting someone fully in.
These all sound like simple things to do, but I bet if you thought about each of these properly you would probably realise that you’re not doing them at a level where they’re pushing you to achieve your full potential. I’m not saying that I’m achieving my full potential right now but I’m certainly trying my utmost to get there. Honestly just stop being so scared of change and stop letting little fears get in the way when you could invest that time on things that would make you forget your fears even existed.
Ever so Stylishly Yours,