Fearful Mind

What if I told you that 10 years from now. your life would be exactly the same? I doubt you’d be happy. So, why are you so afraid of change?”
– Karen Salmanshon

When I was a child I seemed to be scared of almost everything from masks at Halloween, to being in complete darkness and to even falling in love, there always seemed to be something I was terrified of but I never had a reason why. There are two times where I can pinpoint where two small fears of mine originally stemmed from. One was when I was seven, I came across the movie Donnie Darko on TV and for a solid two weeks after it I was absolutely terrified anytime I looked in the mirror because I never wanted to see that Rabbit-like-thing ever again. So much so, I’ve never  been able re-watch the film regardless of the amount of people that have told me how incredible it is. The second fear that has a reason behind it is how much I hate masks. I’m not as scared of them anymore but I can’t deny that they make me feel terribly uncomfortable. This is due to a mixture of my uncle wearing one when I was a kid at Halloween and chased me around the house, along with that one episode of C.S.I. I watched years ago that a group of guys wearing pig masks pulled Greg out through the window of his car and beat him pretty brutally. Which shows why I’m not the biggest fan of Horror movies as I’ve a tendency to let them play on my mind when there really shouldn’t be much after thought about those type of films.

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However even though those fears seemed minor, it did take me many years to get somewhat past them and unfortunately I still have little fears but for the first time in years I can actually say that I don’t have any big fears. Clowns were always a massive fear of mine that I have no clue where it originated from, however in recent weeks I started watching American Horror Story and when season four hit (Yes I flew through the first two seasons, but I skipped season three so I’m not that bad!) The Freakshow” I wasn’t going to watch it but I forced myself and, as silly as it may sound, it has actually helped me overcome my inexpiable fear. Which brings me to the reason I wrote this post, if you’ve got a fear you need to overcome it if you want to truly succeed in other aspects of your life.

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I know that right now you’re probably asking “how did overcoming her fear of clowns help her work better?” but it was more the mentality that if I could get past something that once made my heart race with fear, then I could get past anything. All the energy I wasted on being scared of Clowns, or being scared of the dark, I’m now able to invest in my work, my fitness and my own mentality, or as Gary Vaynerchuck always talks about: My E.I. (if you don’t have a clue what I’m on about, it’s certainly worth your time reading up about or even doing an E.I. test) because having fears holds you back, you mightn’t realize it now but when you overcome them you’ll start seeing things in a much clearer light. One of the fears I’ll never understand, and one that seems to be consuming 80% of people my age, is change. Tonnes of fellow 21 year old’s rave about how they can’t wait to travel the world, make millions of money and all these big shot dreams, however most of them won’t even go to the shop on their own, don’t know what hard work is and still fend off their parents purely because they’re afraid to take a different path due to their strange fear of change. If you can’t step out of your bubble and make a few personal amends, you’re not going to achieve those big dreams you always talk about because they require either you, or your lifestyle, to change. I’m not saying change is easy as it’s incredibly far from that, however it’s worth every second of it. There will be tears, hearts may be broken, purses may be emptier than usual, but trust me when I say that the struggle is worth it if you truly want it, but if you fear it nothing is going to happen. Being fearless is hard to do, but faking fearlessness is much more achievable than you think…

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Overcoming a fear isn’t easy, but in order to make life an adventure you’ve got to struggle before you truly succeed.

Ever so stylishly yours,

   Hannah.x.

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